my pink toes

Whew! It's been a crazy couple days here on the back end of my pink toes! Tech-savvy husband upgraded my harddrive from a measly 20G to a robust 80G (an $80 solution, instead of the $2500 new-laptop-solution).

Since he's a software developer, I am very lucky to have him doing all my IT. At the same time, it's kind of like having a best friend cut your hair - it removes the ability to have a nameless entity to rage about when things get frustrating.* I can't complain about the crazy nitpicky IT guy who is so perfectionistic and therefore is taking forEVER to upgrade my harddrive because, well, I'm married to him. And he has feelings. (Ok, so I CAN complain about him...I just have to do it nicely, or on my blog...)

Anyway, I'm pretty much up and running now. I've also spent the entire day (sorry, kids) learning more HTML, CSS, and Movable Type code. (Check out my fancy new archive styles that actually display my masthead and show links on the right – cool, eh?!)

Coinciding with this technical upgrade was the decision to let a few “real life” friends know about this blog. Having my computer down and giving my friends my URL has made me feel a little, well, vulnerable. I hadn’t realized how personal my computer is to me. I have(had) it all set up the way I want it – visually and technically. And by extension, my blog is extremely personal as I put my writing out here for everyone to see, even though it’s not necessarily the way I want it yet.

In all areas of my life, I am evolving. I have spent my life waiting. Waiting for what? Waiting to be “perfect enough” to let others see the REAL me.

I’m finally realizing that true relationship comes when we reach out to others and share in the process. We are always in process; this is what it means to be human. It is to be celebrated instead of lamented.

I’m also learning this over and over in my faith. I’m convinced God is much more interested in the process than in waiting for the forever-elusive “perfect” result.

I’m sure I’ll need to be reminded again.

* Actually, one of my best friends DOES cut my hair. And she does a fabulous job, so I don’t miss having someone to rage about. Really, Shona – it looks great – always!