my pink toes

As part of the continuing saga of My Health, I have been seeing a sleep specialist. Even though he seems to be obsessed with my weight and gender, I’ve gotten used to him and am going along with his theories for now.

Back in November, I had a sleep test. (An amusing and uncomfortable endeavor whereupon one tries to sleep while being hooked up to myriad wires, watched on camera, and listened to on speaker. Every time I got up to pee (at least 10 times…I need to write about my Bladder Issues...), the tech had to unplug all my wires from a central board that hung on my chest. With all the electronically conductive goo in my hair and wires emanating from all parts of my body, I looked like Darth Vader’s eccentric aunt Medusa. I slept about as well as one might expect under the circumstances: hardly at all.)The small amount of actual sleep data that we were able to gather from that night indicated that I probably suffer from PLMD (Periodic Limb Movement Disorder). This means my legs twitch involuntarily about once every 40 seconds in bunches of at least five incidences an hour. Dr. Sleep thinks treading the PLMD would help alleviate some of the crushing fatigue I feel many days (and felt every day last year). So I’ve been on meds and last month finally got up to the dose he was aiming for.

This last month, I have had more energy and less fatigue than I’ve felt in a long time. Frustratingly, this extra energy is addictive, and often tries to convince me that I don’t really have anything wrong with me and just am really really lazy sometimes, but that’s a big enough topic for its own post…or two…or three…

Anyway, I ran out of my new medicine last night and only had enough for a ½ dose. Today I was greeted by a wall of bone-crushing fatigue and waves of debilitating pain. Coincidence? I don’t know. It’s encouraging to think that treating the PLMD could have such a beneficial effect. Unfortunately, after 17 years of seeking treatments, I am skeptical.

I see Dr. Sleep and his somnambulant nurse tomorrow. We’ll see if he thinks today’s fatigue and pain was coincidental (I have probably been over-doing it lately, and also feel I’m “due” for a flare), or related.

Paul says that Hope comes after Suffering, Perseverance, and Character. Sometimes it takes everything I have to try just one more thing, to endure one more doctor/specialist’s set of questions, but I persevere. Hope in God doesn’t disappoint, but sometimes the rubber-meets-the-road faith and hope work is hard work indeed.

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p.s. As I was crafting this post, my brother IMed me to let me know one of his best friend’s wives has leukemia. She, like me, has two small children. I am continually reminded that even though My Health sometimes consumes me, there are many more acute and frightening possibilities. My Health Issues sometimes prevent me from playing with and enjoying my children, but it does not have the fatal forecast of robbing me of them entirely. A sobering reality.