My Celebrity Crushes That Make No Sense

We all have our understandable crushes: Clive Owen, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig – the ones that make any girl’s heart beat faster. But I have a few celebrity crushes that are, let’s say, odd.

• Alton Brown – How can you resist a man who custom-paints his Kitchen Aid Mixer? The way this man zooms around the kitchen, mixes soup with power tools, and expounds random trivia about the hows and whys of cooking makes me swoon. His smart alec wit is the icing on the perfectly-researched-and-baked cake. He could lay off the Hawaiian shirts, though.
• The Dad on Caillou – I finally had to pull the plug on this PBS show. Even when Caillou is happy, his voice is whiny and falsely deliberate – the adult* who voices him grates on me and constantly ruins the illusion of the cartoon. And what is with the bald hair? The first time I saw this show, I was sure it was about a child cancer patient. But the dad. Oh my, the dad. His tousled (animated) hair, his ever-present smile…. What charms me most about this man is that he knows the answer to every childhood problem and turns every difficult situation into a loving, teachable moment. I think it’s my ovaries that are attracted to this guy, purely in that “I want to have his children” sort of way.**
• Daniel Radcliffe – I’m embarrassed to say I have a strange attraction to Harry Potter’s barely legal alter ego. I was uncomfortable viewing The Order of the Phoenix, as it slowly dawned on me that I was finding Daniel nearly as compelling as Cho did. Does this make me a Mary Kay Letourneau? I hope not. I usually fall for older men (Pierce, Harrison Ford, Sean Connery). I’m going to assume that this crush is just me reliving some of my youth: Harry Daniel looks a lot like my first boyfriend, and what 15-year-old girl doesn’t want to be carried off by a magical, adventurous boy who reluctantly saves the world?

*Ok, I know that for a while Caillou was voiced by a teenage girl who died tragically in a car accident. Still, the voice is annoying.
** I just discovered the dad’s name is “Boris”. Hee hee. How can you take a man named Boris seriously, unless he’s got James Bond in his shark tank and one finger on the launch button of a nuclear warhead?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 7th, 2007 at 7:05 PM and is filed under Everything Else. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.