Your login attempt failed. This is probably because you are a moron. Or because you created your password one late night after watching a VH-1 marathon and chose something so cute and nostalgic like IWOULDDIE4U but now that the vodka has worn off and you’re trying to log in to this site you can’t remember [...]
King Herod and the Baby Jesus Death Squad Golgotha – Complete with Pre-and-Post Crucified Jesus (small holes in his hands allow him to pop on and off the plastic cross) Christmas Shopping Smackdown – Contains: sharp-elbowed-red-eyed-laser-focus Mommy with lead handbag, bewildered-looking-stand-in-line-Daddy with Circuit City ad, stack of mystery “It-Toy”-of-the-year boxes, plastic credit card statement (in [...]
I got out of my wonderful three-hour yoga workshop today and found…..a parking ticket on my car. If I thought the universe was trying to tell me something I’d be pretty confused. Or pissed off.
Peter and I were watching Scooby Doo in Where’s My Mummy? and saw Scooby and Shaggy padlock a “zombie” in a sarcophagus during a classic “run from the monster” scene. The tomb is later flooded, and it is discovered that these “zombies” were Velma’s friends, helping to scare tomb raiders. I kept thinking – did [...]
We all have our understandable crushes: Clive Owen, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig – the ones that make any girl’s heart beat faster. But I have a few celebrity crushes that are, let’s say, odd. Alton Brown – How can you resist a man who custom-paints his Kitchen Aid Mixer? The way this man zooms around [...]
Ok, so not her actual bra, but one that was deemed favorite enough to be given out in a frenzy at one of her shows. It was picked out for me when I finally went for a bra fitting today. I’ve lost enough weight (40ish pounds) that the girls were looking a bit lost in [...]
You see this headline: And think they’ve got the wrong picture. Instead, you think it should look like this: And then you think NO – C.J. – you can’t leave! And then you realize that she’s already gone. Because it was just a TV show. And it’s over. * And I didn’t even realize the [...]
Pink Dogwood from maconham’s photostream My neighbors put in a pink dogwood tree, right under our master bedroom window. I am thrilled! They are the best gardeners/landscapers in the world (we are the worst), so I know their tree will flourish. If anyone had happened to ask me what tree to plant, that would have [...]
I just realized I have exactly 100 messages “tagged for follow up”. Sometimes, I suck. You know why that statistic is particularly disturbing? I’m way better at email than I am at returning phone messages. If only I could send telepathic messages so people would know how much I am thinking about them and loving [...]
My complexion is dry, dry, dry as a [insert your own old, tired simile here]. So dry, in fact, that I have to special order gooey, dewy, moisturizers. If I try to put apply my foundation without these emollients, by 10 am my face looks as cracked as a Renaissance fresco. Apparently, all moisture in [...]