my pink toes

Cocktails and Crafts
from www.evite.com

Filed Under "Relationships" on December 16, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Jim made it through the first critical 24 hours and is now coherent, off the ventilator, and down from 13 (!) IV drips to 5. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Velma was concerned because the first time she visited him after they "woke him up" (took him off anesthesia), he seemed really disoriented. "Do you know who I am?" she asked. He nodded. "Do you know you just had surgery?" Another nod. "Do you know where you are?" Hesitation and a slight nod. "How do you feel?" No response. She was worried - he didn't seem himself and he wouldn't talk.

When she went back in a half hour later, he stuck his tongue out at her. She came back out laughing. Yup, he's back and doing just fine.

The boys and I went to the hospital for 5 hours today. I guess that seems crazy when I type it like that, but it seemed the thing to do. Velma is absolutely charmed by my children (probably a big part of why I adore her so much), and being around the kids makes her happy. I packed a bag full of puzzles, games, toys and food and we hung out in the waiting room. The boys acted pretty much like two exuberant boys made to be quiet for a long time, but managed not to knock over too much furniture or scare any patients past recovery.

When my grandmother was in the cardiac unit, I would bring then-2-year-old Henry to play. We'd bring a bag full of Thomas engines and track and build routes around her bed. She was too tired to interact, but she like having us there. We made her smile and it took her mind off the pain and tedium. I think there's something about having children around that brightens everyone. In a unit full of elderly people and people visiting their elderly parents, many of whom are in much more frightening situations than Jim, children can be a pleasant distraction. I talked repeatedly with Henry about why we were there: to encourage and support Nana. Peter charmed visitors as they stepped off the elevator into his elaborate Star Wars action figure scenario, complete with motorcycle and vigorous sound effects. I felt like for the most part, we all enjoyed having the energy of such youth and vitality around as a contrast to the gloom and uncertainty past the nurses' station.

Once the rest of the family got off work and came over, I figured it was time to go. I'm not sure why we stayed so long, but it felt natural and it felt like the right thing to do. In occasions like this, I'm finding it's just best to go with the moment and with what feels like the right thing to do. I hope we brought Velma joy today. I had peace just being there. In just being present with the family we hold so dear.

Filed Under "Relationships" on November 29, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

...the questions were and are a bit more complicated.

The angiogram revealed that Dave's dad had only 5% of heart capacity (much less than the doctor thought). Apparently he had two previous silent yet massive heart attacks. As we all went about our lives, as Jim played Solitaire on the computer, as Nana played puzzles with Peter, as Dave was at work, as we were sleeping, as I was chopping vegetables, as Henry was at recess, as I was drinking coffee...at any of those times - twice - Jim had a heart attack. Silent. Sweeping. Ominous. Hidden.

Angiogram at 1pm. Quadruple Bypass at 4 pm. Tension at 8 pm when they had to open him back up to fix an arrhythmia. Uneasy peace at 9 pm when he was fully out of surgery. The next 24 hours are critical. The minutes continue to tick by, as always. Traffic lights turn green, dishwashers go through the rinse cycle, gas tanks need filling. How can anything happen as normal when life is so tenuous? So precious. So tender. So taken for granted.

We sleep tonight and find more in the morning. Keep heaven alight and buzzing with your prayers. Our God is mighty. He takes nothing for granted.

Filed Under "Relationships" on November 28, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I know it's NaBloPoMo and all, but I'm going to have to take the night off.

Dave's dad is in the hospital. Not the ER, but the hospital. He's been having some breathing difficulties. Tomorrow he has an angiogram.

Parents are supposed to be invincible. Even when they're 78.

Please keep him in your prayers.

Filed Under "Relationships" on November 27, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

margarita chicken from smitten kitchen

Some of you are under the impression that I can cook. I was too, until I started eating at my friend Giseli’s house. Then I realized that I can no more cook than drive a space shuttle or loom my own cotton. This woman is amazing. She makes chicken taste like ambrosia dipped in gold, kissed by angels, and served by gorgeous Englishmen. If you were told you had to give up chocolate forever to eat at her enchanted table, you would quickly say “chocolate – who cares?” I’d even give up martinis to eat her food. It’s THAT good. Especially, her meat.

So I am trying to learn how to cook meat. I grew up in a home where there were only two kinds of meat served: ground hamburger, cooked until crispy; and chicken breast baked until it was so dry the oven itself begged for mercy. In the fifteen years I’ve had my own household, I’ve been learning how to cook meat without letting it get to the crispy beef or arid chicken stage. By and large, I have been woefully unsuccessful.

I have compensated by learning how to make a delectable sauce. I can make a cream reduction sauce that will make you weep. You will be tempted to steal sly cups of my maderia gravy and eat it by the teaspoonful at home. You may wish you could smear your body with my tomato-cream-basil sauce. (Don’t worry, I won’t tell.) But all my fancy sauce-cooking grew out of up my mostly atrocious attempts to cook meat. Dry, tasteless chicken is sort of edible, but only when drowned in my sauces.

Giseli, however, makes you want to lock the ketchup away for fear that someone would commit the blasphemous crime of smearing it on her tender fare. My son Henry, who is 6 and VERY PICKY, will eat anything Ms. Giseli makes. ANYTHING: crab cakes (she makes them special for a 6 year old!), salmon, Cornish game hens, filet mignon… He turns his nose up at my sauces, but will eat just the pan drippings from anything Giseli makes. He calls her dishes “juicy meat”. When I tempt him at home with my latest attempt at whatever meat I’m attempting to not dry out, he looks at me skeptically, asks if it’s “juicy meat” and then takes forever to chew one dry, tasteless bite before pronouncing it Not. Juicy. And refusing to eat the rest of it.

Giseli invited us for lunch yesterday and after literally having to stop talking mid-sentence because my eyes were rolling into the back of my head while tasting her Cornish game hens, I decided I had to learn how to cook meat. For real, this time. I begged Giseli to tell me all she knew.

She’s a natural cook –she does everything without a recipe, and without thinking about it. She just knows what’s going to taste good. I have learned enough that I am past the point of detailed recipes (sauté five minutes over med-hi heat, in 2 T of oil is now “sauté until it looks good”) so I was hoping to glean some basic, transforming principles instead of step-by-step directions.

Since she’s from Brazil, sometimes the cooking terms take us a while to translate. First she told me she brines all her meat for two days. I sighed, thinking I did NOT have the time to brine every piece of meat. I brine my Thanksgiving turkey, a process that takes the better part of two days. I sucked it up and asked her what she put in her “brines” and after she said “beer, lime juice, chicken stock” I realized she meant “marinade”, not “brine”. I brightened – I can marinate! We laughed together and she told me some other basics: Use the meat with bones. Cook WHOLE chickens. Leave the skin on. Cut the meat down the middle and butterfly it. Marinate for at least two days. Use an alcohol and a citrus to break down the proteins. Use lots of salt. Use your eyes and fingers to determine done-ness. And your nose.

I was eager to try this advice on Saturday and serve delicious juicy meat to my dinner group. I bought bone-in, skin-on breasts, marinated them about 20 hours (unfortunately, a day shy of the magic), and grilled them to what I hoped was crisp-yet-juicy perfection. Although they were much better than my usual Sahara chicken, they were still not roll-your-eyes-back-in-your-head good.

I’m going to keep trying. Got any tried-and-true general principles for cooking juicy meat? Leave them in the comments!

Filed Under "In the Kitchen, Relationships" on July 17, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

The Zugs of the famous House of BBQ had our whole family over for dinner last night. Jenny and her family were there too, along with a host of other lovely folks. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

The House of BBQ moniker is well-deserved! We feasted on JItterbugs, margaritas, salmon, chicken, grilled veggies, margaritas, great salads, s'mores and margaritas. Holy cow, the margaritas! We rubbed shoulders and had conversations with all kinds of lovely folk. The kids ran free (and played the Wii) and it was so warm and welcoming. It was a wonderful, relaxed time. (Unfortunately, I forgot my camera...I remembered the extra batteries for it, but not the actual camera...sigh. I really NEEDED a photo of Jenny's awesome sunglasses!)

I've been thinking about the evening a lot and about what made it great: The Zugs are welcoming, relaxed hosts. Their house was lived-in, and everyone pitched in to get the work done. I tend to be less relaxed as a host and feel that I have to have everything planned ahead of time. Jen's rhythm was much more natural and as a result, I easily fell into it, became a part of it. I don't think about my preparation making things less comfortable for folks, but it really can. At the Zugs, I felt like family. I reveled in the community they have helped create.

Did I mention the margaritas? Here's the impromptu recipe we concocted in Jen's slightly small (Amen!) but fabulously cozy kitchen:

Easy Margarita Pitchers

Stir in a big pitcher, add the ice, and try not to drink too many. For best results, drink in the Zug kitchen while bumping shoulders, having 5 conversations at once, laughing at the children, and experiencing the wonder of human relationships.

This makes for a bit of a strong libation...you could cut down the hooch or up the water if you wanted to.

Filed Under "Cocktails, Relationships" on June 04, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)